A gentle place to beginAfter aloss
6 min read · Last updated August 2026 · Written and reviewed by Emma, Birth & Mother
On this page
01
You are not alone in this
If you are reading this, something has been taken from you that you were not ready to lose. A pregnancy that ended, a baby who died, a hope you had already begun to build a life around. There are no right words for it. This page will still be here whenever you want it, and you can read as little or as much of it as you like.
Loss in pregnancy and around birth is far more common than the silence around it suggests, and that silence can make it lonelier than it ever needs to be. However early or late it happened, you are allowed to grieve, and you are allowed to ask for support. This page is a soft place to start, in your own time.
02
The care and the time you can ask for
In the first days, your own care matters. A few things are worth knowing, gently:
- Your midwife (Hebamme) can care for you after a loss at any stage, not only after a birth. This care is for your body and for the practical questions, and it is covered by your insurance.
- Your doctor can sign you off work (Krankschreibung) so you have time to rest and grieve, without having to explain yourself to anyone.
- Since 2025, if you lose a pregnancy from the thirteenth week onwards, you have a right to protected time off from work, a staggered form of maternity protection (Mutterschutz), with no sick note needed and your job protected. You do not have to take it; it is simply there if you want it. familienportal.de explains how it works.
- Your gynaecologist (Frauenarzt) is there for the physical follow-up, and to talk through what happened and what it may mean, at whatever pace you need.
- If your baby was born weighing under 500 grams, you may, if you wish, have them formally acknowledged at the registry office (Standesamt), with a certificate that records their name. It is entirely optional, and there for you only if it would mean something to you.
- You do not have to make any decisions about the future right now. Questions about trying again, or about why this happened, can wait until you are ready to hold them.
Your body is recovering from something physical too, and that takes its own time. Rest, warmth, and food you do not have to prepare make a real difference in these days, as does anyone near you who asks nothing of you.
03
People who understand
Some of the deepest comfort comes from people who have walked this themselves. In Germany there are gentle, experienced networks for exactly this, many with groups and contact people across the country, and there are warm English-speaking organisations you can reach from wherever you are.
You do not have to find them alone. These are the places I would point you to first, each one there for exactly this:
Across Germany
- Initiative RegenbogenA nationwide network after miscarriage, stillbirth, or loss around birth, with groups and contact people across the country. In German.
- Dein SternenkindVolunteer photographers who, at no charge, gently document your time with a baby who has died. On call across the country.
In English, from wherever you are
- Miscarriage UKWarm, plain-English information on miscarriage, ectopic and molar pregnancy, with email support and live chat you can reach from wherever you are.
- SandsFor anyone whose baby has died before, during, or shortly after birth: a 24/7 online community, email and live-chat support, and online support meetings (UK-based, in English).
Near Berlin and Potsdam
- Child Loss BerlinAn English-speaking group that meets in person in Neukölln twice a month, for parents who have lost a baby in pregnancy or to stillbirth. Get in touch by email to come along.
- Donum Vitae Berlin-BrandenburgConfidential counselling, at no charge, after miscarriage or stillbirth, with an office in Potsdam. The team works in German, so ask whether English is available.
Grief can feel like more than you can carry, and you do not have to carry it alone. Your GP (Hausarzt) and your midwife (Hebamme) can help you find the right support, and the organisations above are there for exactly this, whenever you reach for them.
04
When you are ready, your story
There is no timeline for grief, and no stage you are supposed to reach by now. Some people want to talk straight away; others not for a long time, if at all. All of it is allowed.
When and if you would like to, telling the story of what happened, slowly and to someone who will simply listen, can be part of how you carry it. The bereavement organisations above, a counsellor, or your midwife can hold that story with you, in their own time and yours. There is no right time for it, and no wrong one. It will keep until you are ready.
A gentle note
This page is here to comfort you and to point you gently onward; it is information and signposting, not medical or grief care, which belong with the people trained for them. If any physical symptom ever worries you, your midwife (Hebamme), your gynaecologist (Frauenarzt), or your nearest clinic are there for you. For steady companionship in the weeks that follow, Initiative Regenbogen offers support after miscarriage or stillbirth, with groups and contacts nationwide.
Alongside you
Finding your way to support
There is no part of this you have to carry alone. Whenever you would like help finding your way to the right people, the ones trained to walk beside you through this, you are welcome to reach out.