A gentle place to beginAfter aloss

If you are reading this, something has been taken from you that you were not ready to lose. A pregnancy that ended, a baby who died, a hope you had already begun to build a life around. There are no right words for it. This page will still be here whenever you want it, and you can read as little or as much of it as you like.

Loss in pregnancy and around birth is far more common than the silence around it suggests, and that silence can make it lonelier than it ever needs to be. However early or late it happened, you are allowed to grieve, and you are allowed to ask for support. This page is a soft place to start, in your own time.

In the first days, your own care matters. A few things are worth knowing, gently:

• Your midwife (Hebamme) can care for you after a loss at any stage, not only after a birth. This care is for your body and for the practical questions, and it is covered by your insurance.
• Your doctor can sign you off work (Krankschreibung) so you have time to rest and grieve, without having to explain yourself to anyone.
• Since 2025, if you lose a pregnancy from the thirteenth week onwards, you have a right to protected time off from work, a staggered form of maternity protection (Mutterschutz), with no sick note needed and your job protected. You do not have to take it; it is simply there if you want it. familienportal.de explains how it works.
• Your gynaecologist (Frauenarzt) is there for the physical follow-up, and to talk through what happened and what it may mean, at whatever pace you need.
• After an earlier loss, you may, if you wish, have your baby formally acknowledged at the registry office (Standesamt), with a certificate that records their name. It is entirely optional, and there for you only if it would mean something to you.
• You do not have to make any decisions about the future right now. Questions about trying again, or about why this happened, can wait until you are ready to hold them.

Your body is recovering from something physical too, and that takes its own time. Rest, warmth, and food you do not have to prepare make a real difference in these days, as does anyone near you who asks nothing of you.

You have a right to time away from work after a loss, and your job is protected while you take it. Which rules apply depends on the week of pregnancy, and your doctor or midwife can tell you which are yours.

• Before the thirteenth week, your doctor can sign you off work for as long as you need.
• From the thirteenth week, a miscarriage carries maternity protection (Mutterschutz): two weeks from the thirteenth week, six from the seventeenth, and eight from the twentieth. You receive maternity pay (Mutterschaftsgeld) as you would after a birth. Your doctor or midwife gives you a certificate for your employer and your health insurer (Krankenkasse). You can go back sooner if you tell your employer you want to, and change your mind again at any time.
• After a miscarriage from the thirteenth week, your employer cannot dismiss you for four months.
• After a stillbirth, you have the full eight weeks of maternity protection after the birth, with maternity pay, and your employer cannot dismiss you for at least four months. You can go back earlier only if you ask to, never in the first two weeks.
• If your baby died after they were born, your maternity protection continues as after any birth. Parental allowance (Elterngeld) ends with the month of your baby's life in which they died, and parental leave (Elternzeit) ends within three weeks.
• If you are self-employed or privately insured, what you receive depends on your insurance, and your insurer can tell you.

For a partner, there is no special leave in law. A doctor can sign them off work, and some employment contracts and collective agreements (Tarifverträge) include a few days of special leave (Sonderurlaub), so it is worth asking the employer.

familienportal.de sets out the current rules in full, in German.

A loss brings some practical things with it. You do not have to work them out alone: the hospital, your midwife, and the registry office (Standesamt) can take you through each one.

• Registering your baby. After a stillbirth, the birth is registered at the registry office, usually by the hospital, and your baby can be registered with their name. After an earlier loss, registering your baby is your choice, and there is no time limit.
• Burial. The rules come from your federal state (Bundesland). In almost every state you have the right to bury your baby, however early the loss, and above a certain weight a burial is required. Many hospitals also arrange a shared burial for babies whose parents do not arrange one themselves. The hospital, or Initiative Regenbogen, can tell you what applies where you live.
• Who to tell. Your employer and your health insurer need the certificate from your doctor or midwife. If you had already applied for parental allowance or child benefit (Kindergeld), let the parental allowance office (Elterngeldstelle) and the family benefits office (Familienkasse) know.